Current location:	At the home office
Current mood:	frustrated
Current music:	1.FM electronica

Much ado about nothing
I just feel like whining for a bit. Not my typical style and not a good behavior for a pirate.

I am just frustrated and I don't think I should be. The weather here is great even with the occasional mist and rain. I have just spent a glorious weekend at the Oregon Country Fair which totally freakin' rocked. I then went on a 10 - 12 mile kayak excursion with my bro and his missus which was much fun. Although, I think next time I should work up to these things. The last time I had been kayaking was over a year and a half ago when I was back in Indiana. I am going ocean salmon fishing (or chumming) in two days. I have the luxury of owning my own business and working from home. Biz is doing fine but not growing as I'd like. Yet I am bored.

Last night I pondered this and I think that I am not getting out enough. We've officially been here in Oregon a year now and I still don't know very many people. Sure, I talk to my 70+ year old neighbors when I am out mowing the lawn and such, but I know almost no one my age. I also don't think I am being challenged enough. I need to step up more at work and lead the company in the direction that I want it to go, but I just am having a hard time with that lately. This was something I feared might happen by leaving the business in Indiana and moving out here to Oregon. I need to find a way to reconnect to what the business should be doing and where I should be taking it. I just seem a little unmotivated as of late (think six months).

I haven't been gliding lately as I decided that rather than be a pilot I 'really' just wanted to be a tourist. I don't find anything wrong with that, it just surprises me that I didn't 'love' it as much as I thought I would. The going up and lollygagging while looking around at all the pretty sights is fun, but the work involved to do the actual flying, and to do it well, I found rather boring and tedious.

I envy those people that seem able to find the one passion in their life and to devote themselves to it. I consider myself more of a swiss army knife (yes, like in the Buffett song) as I enjoy many activities and yet don't seem able to find any one single item to focus my life on. My brother on the other hand is 'obsessed' with sailing and devotes all his free time, energy, and money towards that end. My guess is that in about four years, he'll chuck it all and go sailing full time. I haven't stumbled upon anything like that in my life and I am still searching heartily.

I have a friend who wants us to embark on a microbrewery business in the next year or two. I like the idea, but am concerned that it too will be something in which I only have a passing fancy and will not be able to stay dedicated to its success for the long haul. On the other hand....there's beer, and people involved with this concept, so perhaps it is just what I am looking for.

Although I use one often,I am just not into computers and find them no different than my table saw. A tool, but certainly not something where I intend to spend copious amounts of time and energy. Business on the other hand is a fantastically fun game to be involved in. You take the risk and if you are lucky, you reap the rewards. You live or die (in a business sense) by your wits. I would very much like to find a means by which I could help other people start businesses of their own. Perhaps this is a direction I should be pursuing further. Yet, the corporate culture today is often annoying. It seems as though no one is interested in creating something pure and beautiful. Most I have talked with are simply in it for a quick buck, everyone wants to get rich quick. What about the ethics and morals that 'should' exist in business. Why are we all willing to sell each other down the river for a few dollars? Why are business schools preaching this quick buck mentality?

If you are looking for a better understanding of just how and why I think the world is becoming a horrible place just go see an Inconvenient Truth (the Al Gore movie). We all know better, but we don't do better, because it is easier to say that it is someone else's problem or 'let the government fix it.' Just like in the movie (see the Gore family tobacco farming section), until it effects each person in a personally profound way, it is easier to not change.

Aaaahhhh....there, I feel better. I mean Arrrrgh...I feel better.